This is my first post on this blog and to let you know its going to be about the struggles, difficulties and goalposts I find during my journey. To start with, my conversion story
It all started when i went to university really…. maybe even before then. I was considering becoming a catholic before I left for uni to give myself a reason for something really. To be honest I cant really remember why i was contemplating it. I remember thinking that cathodicism was a stronger faith than christianity and I needed something stronger. But in the end I didnt and i carried on with my first year at university. So in my second year (2002) I met a guy, a muslim, who said to me once than he really enjoyed my company and that i should seriously think about praying 5 times a day, fasting, giving charity and thinking about things after this life. I remember thinking what does it have to do with him…. then I forgot about it. Although I couldnt completely forget about it, my university was in a predominantly muslim area with many mosques and islamic shops masha’allah.
So when I started my third year working in London it was just the beginning of another year. Until I found out that one of the women I was working with had become muslim herself masha’allah, and I cant really remember when but then I started looking into it more. Especially when she told me things that I couldnt handle. So I looked them up and found out that the things I didnt understand werent actually muslim issues that was when I found out she was an Ahmadiyya muslim, well if you can call them muslims. There are things I really dont agree with in that, so by finding out these strange things I was actually finding out more about Islam.
So I looked more into it on the internet and came across chat rooms and islamic forums… it was here that i met some very good muslims that have helped me on my travels alhamdulillah. I even found a new muslim project near when I was when i went back to uni, so I emailed them to see what they were all about, and they put me in touch with a sister who is very dear to my heart. At first she says she couldnt see us having anything in common, but alhamdulillah she gave me a second chance and we are very good friends now, she was there when i said my shahada (Oct 1st 2003) and has been there for me ever since, even when Im on the other side of the world.
Well, I think thats about it in a nutshell, i would love to say that my deen is growing stronger everyday but unfortunately I cant. I still havent told my mum, for fear of her reaction…. I know I should only fear Allah (swt) but until you have been in the situation……. well insha’allah i will tell her soon, although myself and a few people (including my cousin) believe she already knows she just doesnt want to believe it. Insha’allah things will be sorted soon, because it is killing me keeping the biggest thing in my life from her. But her opinions arent really your everyday open-minded opinions that would make this easy.
